our supposed one great love

They say everybody has this one great love. You might have met that person earlier in your life, later when you’re old and have formed a family with someone else, or if you’re lucky, just in time before it gets too late. Your affection would be reciprocated or it could just be another case of unrequited love. Either way, there is a supposed one great love.

At this age, I would not be too certain if I had met my one great love. I guess I can figure that out when I have experienced more of life and of love.

But even at this early stage in our lives, there are those who have crossed paths with us that we can consider as people with impact. They may be our first crush, first date, seatmate in school, best friend of the opposite sex, enemy turned friend/ “frenemy,” childhood sweetheart, the kid-next-door who was always “sip-onon” to use the local term, or the famous basketball star during the Summer League.

Of all the crushes I’ve had and despite how ugly our endingS have been, (Take note that it’s purposely with an extra “S.”) this person remains to be the one with the greatest impact so far. And to think that this has already lasted ten years and still counting. I have even given up of the thought of FINALLY moving on.

I continue to think of him as probably my supposed one great love. If he isn’t the so-called great love then at least, I will be able to bury my memories with him in peace.

I don’t normally like talking about this but since tonight has been a night for whimsical thoughts and reminiscing, the memories haunt me at this late hour, too. And I feel really sad. Not just for our many sad, cheesy endingS but also for all the other sad, cheesy endings of other people’s supposed great love.

This is because even if this person isn’t obviously the right one and that the healthier option is to get out of it, a secret part of me is still willing to stake on all the odds with him. I have no excuse that I do not know the logical thing to do. I know but I will still choose to do the wrong thing if it would mean more chances. This has not been only applicable to me. Of course, you silent hypocrites, have felt this too at some point in your life. Or if not, it would come for you one day.

I get angry at him for a long time that I no longer want to talk about him or even stalk his Facebook. I miss him a lot that I hope he could just come back and I could just get to be with him like the old times. And I get desperate at times, that I wish I just never got to know him at all.

These are the complications of how I had perceived love. Even if love was reciprocated but taken back. Even if love was given but was just not enough. Even if love was there but just at the wrong time.

Our supposed one great ought to exist. If it would never come even at the end of our life, it must got hit by a bus on its way.


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